I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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