how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
