My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
