so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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