Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
