I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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