no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
