no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
