I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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