I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
