Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
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No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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