Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize