using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
