What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
