you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
