farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
