you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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