so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize