I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
