I should be sponsored by Trojan
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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