hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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