But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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