Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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