sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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