i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
