i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
