Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
