and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
