It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
