I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
