My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
