Don't you send me to vm
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize