Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize