I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
