I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
one might say we're banned from that church
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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