and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
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