Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
