Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize