glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
