is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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