Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
