Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
