what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
