I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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