just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
