I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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