i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize