so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
