You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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