You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I supernannyed him into submission
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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