Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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