Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
