Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
