She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
