toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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