highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
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You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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