I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?