You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.