dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.