Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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