the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
