I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
