I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
